The World Has Made Me The Man Of My Dreams
“The World Had Made Me The Man Of My Dreams”
— Meshell Ndegeocello
I love this notion, I love everything about it. It reminds me that we must be for ourselves what we seek of others.
If we desire romance from our partner, why wait longingly, why not create it for ourselves and for our partner. Why wait? Society has taught us, through film mainly, that when you find the right person they’ll give you all your heart's desires. So if you want a room decked out in candles the next time you celebrate an anniversary, they’ll do it. But what if they didn't? What if they had a different gesture of their love to offer, does that mean somehow they aren’t the one?
Why do we follow this way of thinking, why don't we make magic for ourselves, why try and manifest what we can just do.
Currently, I am single and I couldn't be happier with that because every day I understand a little more about my relationship with myself and my relationship with others. I learn what I still need to seek healing from and who the person is that I truly want to be. When it comes to a romantic relationship we have to heal from past traumas, that way when we enter this commitment of love and nurturing, we aren’t easily susceptible to intentionally or unintentionally hurting our spouse.
When it comes to a romantic relationship I’ve learned you have to know who you are so you can be an individual within a couple. Without knowing yourself boundaries can’t be drawn, goals won’t be accomplished, life won’t be lived. Every moment we have on this earth is precious, there is no time to waste with someone that does not know themselves and therefore does not know you. If we compromise on all the little things, we’ll begin to compromise on the big things as well. Knowing who you are and what you will and won't put up with is the golden standard. You make your world spin, not someone else.
That is not a selfish act, why would it be? You’ve been in this body and mind for all the years you've lived, you owe it to yourself before anyone to do right by you. At the end of the night, when you lay your body to rest, your left with the decisions you make and the result of how they make you feel. To avoid further scrutiny and self-demoralization, you must make decisions that align with who you are and who you always want to be.
I have this belief, if everyone in the world was their trustest self, all the time, we’d live under better circumstances. People would be accountable, there’d be no such thing as bravado. Folks would walk, laugh, and dress how they want with no objection from the outside world. So imagine what being yourself can do, it can be the solution to a lot of things.
I am the partner of my dreams because I know what I want, so right now I give myself those things, if I want flowers, I buy flowers. If I want a candlelit room, I lay candles around my body, feeling the fires fervent heat. Becoming the person you want someone else to be for you eliminates the belief that someone can fulfill you, that someone else can give you your heart's desires.
Love is an amazing, complex action, when we love our selves first, we also love others. In loving ourselves we tap into a power this society hasn’t felt in a while; the ability to be unapologetically you and walk the earth with no doubt that all is good and all will be good.
I have complete faith that I’m on the right track and I’m not heading toward a relationship because it will come in time. Till then, I just wanna sit here, write and learn more about myself, my passions, my hates, my loves, my ancestors, my siblings, and my mission. Discovery of thy self will lead me forward, and standing by that self unconditionally will be my salvation.
